1. Move the Hacketts to Forks or the Cullens to Nantucket?Either way, comedy gold! Imagine one of the Cheers regulars looking out on the wing and seeing a Cullen! I'd have to say that I'd rather see the Cullens in Nantucket since it would be so strange to see them hanging out glamorously at Helen's lunch counter.
2. More awkward: The Talented Mr. Ripley or How The Grinch Stole Christmas?First of all: LOLM. Second of all: definitely The Grinch but only because of that terribly awkward Rosie O'Donnell/Molly Shannon interview we both remember that featured the clip, "It needs something else...quick, get the light out of our fridge!"
3. Firthy as Darcy or Firthy as a penguin?Jim Carrey as Lizzie!
4. Better Background Vocals: Janna and Bethany on RESPECT, or Pam Tillis on Islands In The Stream?I'd give it to Pam ONLY because she was singing them while driving away in a van and mouthing to her driver, "Get me the HELL out of here!"
5. Regatta pier or the Titanic Room?Although the reports of young couples reenacting the "Jack, I'm flying!" scene have tripled every year since Titanic came out at the Regatta pier, my heart will go on to the Titanic Room because it only exists in our hearts (of the ocean) now. Why didn't we take pictures?!
6. Shania Twain or Anne Murray?Man! That's a hard decision! But it's Shania by a bare midriff! Let's go, girls!
7. "I carried a watermelon." or "You're wild!!!" ICAW is more classic and needs to be the name of a band or blog now, but I'll root for the underdog and say that the combination of the weird kicking-stake sound effect, the beginning of "Overload" and La Grey's line delivery seals the deal for YW for me!
8. Best excuse: "Her stepmother died." or "I was kicked out of Equity for being in your little play!"They both deserve Regional Wyoming Local Tony Awards (those exist, right?) for their brilliance, but in honor of the much beloved Stepmother Noni Rose, I'd give it to the latter. The situation of a wildly talented actor being kicked out of Equity for deigning to appear in little productions so far beneath them has happened too many times, and I for one applaud anyone brave enough to speak out against it!
9. Dinah Manoff or Lorna Luft?Empty Nests aside, I can't even joke: Manoff takes all the Maraschinos in my eyes!
10. "Pray for Vanna." or "Meg Ryan: Gladiator will dump you!"?At least we know where Gladiator stands on circumcision, so I will say it has always been wonderful advice to pray for Vanna. Especially since she inspired THIS piece of art, which will be one of my solo numbers in our lounge act.
DON'T KNOCK ANNE MURRAY'S MIDRIFF UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN IT! SHE WAS A P.E. TEACHER, FOR CANADA'S SAKE!
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